You can't win for losing from your SL profile, I have concluded. Writing about who you are in SL in your profile is very difficult: not only are you highly limited on space while trying to tell anyone who might want to know everything you can say about yourself, but then the people who read your profile end up judging you based on what you write (or not write) there. It's pretty much a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario.
Even making the active decision to not include information adds up points either for or against you. Nearly two years ago I made the decision to no longer allow the SL public to see my group list, because there were rival groups who were playing the Junior High game of 'You can't be our friend if you are friends with them...', and quite frankly, it's been over 30 years since I graduated from Junior High. The best way to avoid the Junior High silliness is to not disclose which groups you belong to. The results have been mixed; while some have applauded my action, others think I have committed a cardinal sin worthy of banishment from SL for essentially telling them to mind their own damn business.
I decided to write an explanation for my action, along with a statement about why I am not actively seeking a relationship in SL. The response? *whiny, nasal voice* 'I've read your profile and I can see you are just full of Drama!', replied one individual recently. Granted, that individual was someone I was having a separate dispute with, but who was so very proud to post in their profile they don't like Drama, and have even pointed out to individuals they belong to a 'No Drama' group. (Here's a note to anyone reading who's fairly new to SL: people who point out they're not into drama and groups who advertise themselves as being 'no drama' groups, are ALL about Drama--they're just into it on a different level). And, btw, this individual also called me a bitch. All from what they read in my profile.
So then the natural knee-jerk response is to then eliminate all the info from the profile and just leave everyone guessing. That is until you run into my friend Nic, who has a blanket rule: he checks the profile of anyone he's meeting for the first time, to get a read on them. And if he doesn't find any info and you weren't born in SL yesterday, you must be an alt and he will not communicate with you further. I can't help but think that he's missed out on some great friendships with that rule. I also can't help but think he's not the only one in SL with that rule, and that in fact there are quite a few with that rule. I used to think this was a somewhat reasonable approach, until lately. Now I can't help but wonder how many of us have eliminated profile info out of sheer frustration.
So, I have rewritten my profile to say the following: since people have come up with their own judgements based on my profile, I'm going to address what has been said about me. It's all true, whatever you think, and here is my reply (greatly expanded because I have the space to do so here):
I am a drama queen and a bitch--Then deal with it and leave me the hell alone. If you can't deal with it, commit pixelcide (leave SL) and leave me the hell alone, because right now I'm not going anywhere. Have me in your clique, don't have me in your clique, right now I pretty much don't care. But outside of us having pixel sex and me asking you to call me a bitch in the heat of that moment, you don't get to call me a bitch and then claim in your profile you're not into Drama.
I am not worthy of any communication--Fine. Don't waste my time. Now I understand that I don't communicate with every person on my friends list every single day. It's nice if they contact me to say hello, and more often than not if you contact me I won't ignore you. But when we're supposed to be friends and you haven't been on in awhile and I attempt to contact you to find out if you're okay, then I discover that you've logged on quite recently and you never contacted me after I asked if you're okay, not even to say hello, I have to assume you think I don't deserve the courtesy of the same thing you demand. And then I have to ask: why are we friends?
BTW, I am also into music and dancing and SL surfing. But people who read SL profiles and judge people based on them don't care to know about that, because they've already judged me. If that's the case, it's your loss. I'll simply live down to your expectations.
